Adoption Finalized

I have been so busy with my precious ones, that I haven't had time to blog about our exciting adventures and news! But with things settling down, I am trying to make time, because documenting our memories is important to me!

Josiah's adoption was finalized on April 17th, 2014, and Mason's was finalized on June 24th, 2014. After Jojo's adoption, we celebrated by having friends and family over for dinner, and after Mason's we all went out to dinner with family to Carrabba's.

They were both emotional days, as we were finally relieved to call them ours forever, and to give them our last name, and to say goodbye to caseworkers. It was a long journey for us, an emotional roller coaster, but well worth it! I have loved them as if I birth to them myself since the day they were brought to me, absolutely true love at first sight, it does exists! But with constant visits with caseworkers, it was a painful reminder that they were not truly mine yet, and the risk of losing them was always there. But now my worries are over, and our days are filled with noise, mess, feedings, diaper changes, toys, laundry, normalcy, and everyday mundane and love. I asked Skylar and Maddox recently if they remembered life without Mason and Josiah, and they both said no, lol. They complete our family, and we're all in love.

The day of adoption, it felt as if my husband and I were on trial for how much we loved and wanted our boys, and the judge found us guilty of being true parents to our boys! Mason even tugged on everyone's heart strings when Mitch was called to the stand, Mason cried out for his daddy, and the judged laughed and asked for Mitch to bring Mason up to the stand with him! Precious :)

Below are the photos of our happy adoption days.

(above picture is our first night with the boys, March 12th, 2013)

Our Adoption Journey (part two)

About a month ago I posted part one of our adoption journey, and I'm a little embarrassed that I'm only just now getting around to posting part two, but I've been busy blessed with 4 precious children.

Finally Here

After 2 years of waiting to adopt, we decided to get our foster  license, but we told our foster agency to put us on the "no call list" until further notice by us. A month later (March 2013) they called us anyways. My agent asked if we would be interested in 2 African American baby boys, ages one month, and one year, and other than their names she didn't have any other information to offer me, including how long they would stay. I was going to say no, we were wanting to adopt, and we were on the no call list...but something inside of me urged me to say yes. Mitch and I talked before we gave our answer, and we both decided to take a leap of faith. Within 2 hours of that phone conversation they were here in our home.

I sat on our front porch waiting for them to arrive. A DSS worker pulled up in a mini van and there they were, both sleeping in their car seats. I helped her carry them in. Their belongings consisted of a couple bottles, a day's worth of diapers and wipes, and a small bag of clothes, most of which wasn't even for their sizes. The worker had us sign a piece of paper and was gone within 5 minutes, but before she left she informed us that she did not believe the boys were going to go back home any time soon. Mitch and I, along with Skylar and Maddox just stared at them sleeping. We didn't want to wake them up, and I was worried that our one year old would be frightened once he did, but moments later they started opening their eyes. Our one year old did seem confused and tired, but he curled right into me and he did just fine. Mason is our one year old and Jojo is our sweet infant. Mason was already walking and I loved how he never wanted me to put him down. Baby Jojo was just a mere 6 pounds at 5 weeks of age. He looked so small and fragile. The four of us looked at them in awe the day they arrived and showered them with hugs, kisses, and cuddles.

Our family, friends, and church family are amazing! As soon as word got out about our new additions people generously donated everything we needed, diapers, clothes, toys, car seats, stroller, bottles, etc...a few friends of mine even came over one afternoon and allowed me to nap (since neither of the boys were sleeping through the night). They played with the babies and even cleaned my house! And for two weeks straight friends came over with meals, so I wouldn't have to worry about dinner. I am still just blown away by everyone's generosity! God is so good in the way he uses people.

From day one with the boys, everything felt so comfortable, so blissful, so right. We were so happy that we said yes. I fell in love instantly. A friend of mine asked me if I was telling myself every morning that they weren't mine, and that one day they could go back home, and I said no. That's what I should have been doing, but knowing more about their case, and their caseworker giving me high hopes, I knew that it was looking likely that they would be staying, and bonding with the babies came so naturally.

A month after placement, the boys' parents had court to decided a permanency plan for the babies. The judge ruled in favor of adoption and to terminate the rights of the parents. Though it is what I wanted, it was hard to be happy watching a mother lose her children. Nothing of course is a sure thing until we sign the adoption papers, but their case worker has predicted that the adoption should be finalized before the end of this year, we're at least 2 court dates away from that day.

Our foster agent is thrilled for us, and can't believe that not only did our first foster placement turn into adoption, but also how quickly everything is moving along. Every day I look into their eyes and think to myself, "you're finally here". My baby boys are so beautiful and truly a blessing from God.

Our adoption journey has been long, and our story isn't final just yet, but through all the pain, disappointments and waiting, I would do it all over again, because they were well worth the wait. Some time ago an adoptive mother gave me this encouragement, she said, once you finally adopt, this time of waiting just melts away and disappears, and you won't even remember the waiting anymore. 

I am looking forward to adoption day, and my hope is to be able to write part 3 of our happily ever after in the coming months.

Our Adoption Journey (part one)

Waiting

About 3 years ago my husband and I seriously started to consider adoption. We prayed about it and felt that we recieved answers left and right from God saying, "Yes! Adopt!" We researched many adoption options, but decided to adopt through DSS, South Carolina's Department of Social Services, and after some time in prayer I knew that this was the right decision for our family. So I called DSS, the ladies were so sweet, helpful and full of information. We signed up for the next available orientation class in June of 2011, where we then submitted our application. We were told that we would need a lot of patience in order to adopt, and boy they weren't kidding! Our next class wouldn't be until October (2011), 4 months away.

We were then required to take a 14 hour parenting class. We got to meet other waiting parents, that I wish now that I would have gotten their contact information. There they informed us how the adoption process worked, including how the children end up in foster care. Some of the information was quite hard and painful to hear. We filled out tons of paperwork and went over many parenting scenarios from infants to teens, from tantrums to runaways, to bullying to discipline options. We watched videos and heard stories from other adoptive parents and adoptees. We were told of the pain and trauma that a child goes through before coming into our home, I can only imagine the loss of your parents, home, friends, life, everything that you once knew, gone. We were trained on how to deal with this grief, but how can anyone truly be trained on such a thing? The classes were very informative and I'm glad we took them. I left the building on my last day hopeful and optimistic that we would be adopting soon, but there was still much to be done before we could even start our waiting period.

With our classes complete I now had a parenting certificate in one hand and a long to do list in the other of what I must do to complete our homestudy. We needed a copy of my, Mitch's and our 2 children's birth certificate and our marriage certificate to turn in. We needed our finger prints submitted along with a SLED background check. We had to fill out paperwork after paperwork giving detail descriptions of our family life, our marriage, our discipline style, what our family life was like growing up, and details on what our relationship to our parents and siblings are now. We had to turn in our family medical history, answer "what if" questions about our future child...the paperwork was endless! and even then there was more. We had our home inspected by the fire department and then by DHEC. After all that was completed we were then able to meet with our private investigator who interviewed my husband and I together, then separate, and then the children separate. By now I am drowning in paperwork, but after 6 months we finally completed our homestudy and we are now approved to adopt!!

For some reason I thought it would happen right away. Our homestudy was completed in April, 2012 and I was told to wait for a phone call. Every time the phone rang my heart would stop, I would leap for the phone and think, this could be it! The waiting was torture. I was told to check out photo listing websites of waiting children while waiting for a placement, because then i may get lucky and it would at least allow me to feel proactive. I wish now, that I would have never have done that. By doing so, I fell in love with photos, with videos, with could be's and fantasies. My heart was continuously broken by ignored inquires, and phone calls and email responses telling me that we were not a match, mostly because we already had young children in the home. I was forwarded case files of children, whose stories would cause you to lose faith in humanity. How can anybody treat a child so cruel?  I finally stopped looking.


One day a friend introduced us to a beautiful young expectant mom, "C" who wasn't ready to have a baby. She asked me to adopt her unborn child. Shocked that she some how just fell into our lives, we wondered if she was a gift from God. We shared many talks and tears. I was convinced she was sure, but I tried to keep my heart guarded from another break. My husband and I took her out to lunch one day, to get to know her better, to allow her to get to know us, and to discuss future plans. I was so excited. I took her to doctor appointments, I was there to hear the baby's heartbeat, and see the ultrasound pictures, I fell in love. I was planning the nursery in my head, I was thinking of baby names, Judah if the baby was a boy, Sloan if she was a girl. I crocheted my baby (her baby) a beautiful blanket. Just as I allowed it all to become real, ready to make the announcement to my family...she changed her mind. I "lost" her baby. I don't blame her, her decision was tough, and I really do wish the best for her and her baby girl.

During our waiting period my husband and I had a trip planned to Haiti. I was thrilled to return for a 3rd time. I was also thankful for the distraction, but my distraction didn't last long enough. I kept making up timelines for when I should be getting a placement. By the end of the summer 2012, I was actually surprised it was taking this long. Friends and family were even questioning this lengthy process, am I even going to adopt, will this ever happen? I thought for sure I would get a placement by the end of the 2012 summer, then I changed my timeline to Christmas, to Valentines, to Mother's Day.

In October of 2012, I felt ready to explore fostering to adopt, along with still being on the straight adoption waiting list. We had talked with several people who thought this was a good option for us, and after sitting down and having a conversation with a foster agency I felt really good about the decision. I called the foster agency back the first week of January (2013) and our foster agent came by our house for an interview and a few sheets of paperwork on the 8th. I just LOVE our foster agent. She reassured me that there was nothing wrong with our family, but that adoption does take time, but a lot of families find it faster to adopt through fostering. Since we were already an approved pre-adoption home the only thing we had to do to become licensed foster parents was sign a few forms, get re-finger printed, and have another SLED check. Our finger prints came back right away, but our SLED check took 4 weeks, and then our home was reinspected by the fire department. My agent told me that my paperwork would be sent off to Columbia and to expect a placement by February!!!!

Sure enough the first week of February we received a call asking if we would take in a 6 month old girl and a 2 year old boy. Oh how lovely I thought! How amazing! We're finally getting a child...no wait, 2 children! But, their case worker informed us that their plan was to be reunited with their family. One of the toughest things I've had to do after almost 2 years of waiting was say no to our first phone call. I couldn't say yes knowing that I would never get to keep them. So they went to another family.

That same week we were contacted by a friend that I hadn't talked to in over a year. She's a foster mom, and was currently fostering a 4 month old baby who had recently become legally free for adoption and wanted to know if we were interested. I remember feeling sick after talking with her, and became overwhelmed with sadness. I think that Mitch was starting to worry that this journey was too hard for me. I didn't want another heart ache. I've been waiting for too long, with so many let downs along the way. What if I don't get this baby either? But, I agreed to meet baby "A". He was and is so perfect, so sweet and so chunky. I loved him. His foster mother warned me that she did not have any say over where he goes or who his adopting parents will be, but that she would do her best to advocate for me, and she did. I inquired for him to our adoption agency and was told that I would be considered. I called my foster agency and told them to take me off the call list until further notice, because I was investing in this sweet boy, who I prayed and prayed would be mine. I visited him every chance I got and took pictures and videos, and when I wasn't there his foster mom sent me pictures and videos. After 3 months of this we were not chosen, another family was.

I trust God, and I have talked with him through out this entire journey telling him that no matter what, I trust Him and His plan for me. And God is so good, and He has an awesome plan for me and our journey, and in part two of our adoption journey I will write about our unexpected blessing of two sweet boys.

Adoption Progress Update

We have been on this journey for 20 months now! And what a journey it has been. Right after Christmas I felt ready to explore fostering to adopt, along with still being on the straight adoption waiting list. The difference between straight adoption, fostering to adopt, and fostering is this: straight adoption is adopting a child who is already legally free for adoption, fostering to adopt is caring for a child who is not yet legally free for adoption, but their parents are in the process of losing their parental rights and once TPR (termination of parental rights) goes through you are then able to legally adopt the child you have been caring for, and fostering is taking care of a child whose plan is to eventually go back home, unless their family goes through TPR. We have talked with several people who think this is a good option for us, and after sitting down and having a conversation with Heartfelt Calling back in October, I feel really good about this decision. I called the foster agency the first week of January (2013) and our foster agent came by our house for an interview and a few sheets of paperwork on the 8th. I just LOVE our foster agent, not to say our adoption specialist isn't great, but I feel like I have to reintroduce myself to her anytime I see or call her, but our foster agent is so personable, and I just love that! On our first phone conversation she gave me her cell number and told me to text her anytime...and you know what, I have and she always response right away and she's just so sweet. I can't tell you how much her care and friendliness means to me, especially after 20 months of waiting and feeling like another file to my adoption agency. Since we are already an approved pre-adoption home the only thing we had to do was sign a few forms, get re-finger printed, and have another SLED check done. Our finger prints came back right away, but our SLED check took 4 weeks. Also once a year until our adoption is finalized a fire inspector from the fire department has to come out to our home for an inspection. Last year when he came (back when I believed for some reason this process would be quick) he gave us a slip of approval, and left saying, "ok everything looks great, I will see you next year". I laughed to myself thinking, haha no need, I'll surely have a kid by then....but I guess the joke was on me lol. The same fire inspector came out again yesterday with my foster agent. I love that he remembered me! My agent told me that my paperwork should be sent off to Columbia this week, and she held up her fingers as if to show me an inch and said you are this close to getting a placement...eeeek! Last month she also told me to expect a placement by February!!!! Could we really be this close?!?!?

Oh it's been a looooong journey, but I know that it is going to be sooooo worth it. Though the wait has been long, I truly feel like God has been shaping, training, and preparing us in this time and I believe that even though I have felt so impatient, that one day I may look back on this time and be grateful for this time of preparation. It's funny, it seems that when we first started our journey we were surrounded by adoption stories, honestly it was like everyday we ran into someone with a story to tell and we loved it! And now here recently again we are surrounded by more adoption stories, mixed in with a few foster stories as well. Even one of my favorite TV shows, Parenthood had an adoption story to tell, and one that would most resemble our future! And it also just so happens that this month is Foster/Adoption month at a our church, I couldn't believe it! And this past Monday night our church hosted a ladies event, "This Night" where the topic was Foster Care and Adoption. I also think that it's funny that last year our fire inspector came out the day of a "This Night", and this year he came out the day after one.

I have been using my time of waiting prepping, cleaning, and organizing my home like crazy, adoption nesting I guess lol. Also, I have 4 large containers filled with clothes of different sizes waiting for our child. I have an empty made up bed waiting on him, an empty dresser, and toys galore. I have crocheted two blankets for him and I'm currently working on a third. I've been keeping frozen pizzas and chicken nuggets, along with cookie dough in the house, in case those might be his favorite foods, then I'll just have them ready, and if it turns out that he likes something else, you better know that I'll run out to go get it.

I am just so ready, waiting, and praying for our child.

Waiting To Adopt

My to be adopted child(ren) are on my heart and mind. I feel like I have been praying and waiting for so long, but I trust that God not only has a plan for me, but for my (His) children as well.

About 3 years ago my husband and I seriously started to consider adoption. We prayed about it and felt that we recieved answers left and right from God saying, "Yes! Adopt!" Weekly, Mitch came home with story after story of one of his customers telling of their adoption stories, without Mitch even bringing it up! Every time we went out it seemed that we ran into a family with an adopted child, or we met people who were adopted. Suddenly we were surrounded by adoption stories. So with our yes on the table, our next step was to find an agency. I heard many great things about Bethany, but after talking with them for hours on the phone, they told me that since I seemed more interested in older children and sibbling groups that I should look into adopting children out of the foster care system. After some time in prayer I knew that this was right for our family. So I called DSS, the ladies were so sweet, helpful and full of information for me. I then signed up for the next available orientation class. That was in June of 2011, where we then submitted our application. We were told that in this process to adopt that we would need a lot of patience, and boy they weren't kidding! Our next class wouldn't be until October, 4 months away.

We were then required to take a 14 hour parenting class. We got to meet other waiting parents, that I wish now that I would have gotten their contact information. There they informed us how the adoption process worked, including how the children end up in foster care. Some of the information was quite hard and painful to hear. We filled out hundreds of paperwork and went over many parenting scenarios from infants to teens, from tantrums to runaways, to bullying to discipline options. We watched videos and heard stories from other adoptive parents and adoptees. We were told of the pain and trauma that a child goes through before coming into our home, I can only imagine the loss of your parents, home, friends, life, everything that you once knew, gone. We were trained on how to deal with this grief, but how can anyone truly be trained on such a thing? I can only love, how can I understand? Homecoming may be a happy day for me, but a confusing day for the child, of course, I can only imagine. How can a stranger be considered a mommy on day one? I'll have to earn their trust and love, but my love, they already have now. The classes were very informative and I'm glad we took them. I left the building on my last day hopeful and optimistic that we would be adopting soon, but there was still much to be done before we could even start our waiting period.

With our classes complete I now had a parenting certificate in one hand and a long to do list in the other of what I must do to complete our homestudy. We needed a copy of my, Mitch's and our 2 children's birth certificate and our marriage certificate to turn in. We needed our finger prints submitted along with a SLED background check. We had to fill out paperwork after paperwork giving detail descriptions of our family life, our marriage, our discipline style, what our family life was like growing up, and details on what our relationship to our parents and siblings are now. We had to turn in our family medical history, answer "what if" questions about our future child...the paperwork was endless! It took weeks to complete it all, and even then there was more. We had our home inspected by the fire department and then by the department of human health services. After all that was completed we were then able to meet with our private investigator who then interviewed my husband and I together, then separate, and then the children separate. This took a total of 2 days, weeks apart and hours at a time. By now I am drowning in paperwork, but we have now completed our homestudy and we are now approved to adopt!! Our entire homestudy took 6 months to complete. We turned in our application 14 months ago...and I'm waiting.

For some reason I thought it would happen right away. Our homestudy was completed in April and I was told to wait for a phone call, that phone call of course would be news that we have a waiting child, a waiting child for a waiting mother, a waiting father, and two waiting siblings!

Every time the phone rings my heart stops, leaping for the phone I think, this could be it! But that call hasn't rang yet. I was told to check out adoptuskids website. I have and I have inquired about several children. None of whom have been chosen for me ( but God has a plan). Each day my heart seems to break for the child I long for, and yet I am still optimistic that my awaited phone call will ring. It's hard to explain missing a child that I haven't even met yet, but I do! And I'm waiting and expecting, without a known due date. It's weird to think that we could be welcoming home our child next week, or it could be next year. It's the waiting and not knowing that is so hard, and I wonder, what is my child thinking and feeling now? They must be out there somewhere, how is my child doing? All I can do is pray and wait and trust that God is faithful, for He is, He is a God of goodness and of great love.

I think about my to be child(ren) everyday. And I am so grateful for the many blessing that God has given me, which makes me feel guilty for asking for patience :) but He is just so good and generous like that and I am just so ready for our welcoming home day. I trust that God has a plan for our family, and I know that once the phone rings everything will seem to happen so fast after that, but in this time of waiting I could sure use some encouragement.

(all photos above were found on pinterest)